Ashes 2 Ashes

Putting closure to 'things' is important to me. My sisters, Dani Jo and Lori,her daughter Callie, the 'hub,' Katie and Tim traveled to Wise River, Montana to spread my father's ashes in the river he and I fly fished together for the past 6 years. It was our way of putting closure to his passing. I've tried to write this many times. I can't seem to find the right words to pay homage to my father and the legacy he has left deep inside of me. I am more like him than any of my siblings. I believe they would stand behind that statement. He was a corker. Larger than life people seem to leave larger holes when they leave this world. As I stood in the places where he taught me how to cast my line, build a good campfire, love and respect the wind, and scorch a great hot dog I felt the hole like never before. We stood in 'the meadows' and each of us drew a handful of William Gerald Mathison, tossed him into the wind that took him below to the rushing waters of the Wisdom River. His ashes were pale and a stark contrast to the grey, clear water, however, in death as in life, he was constant and could be seen until the next bend in the river. When we were finished....we each had his 'dusting' on our clothes. He was always a presence, sometimes.....a painful one....only because he loved deeply and never seemed to be able to make the transition from father to friend. I believe in order to understand the person before us, we need to care enough to learn who they were before us......RIP my precious dad.

1 comment:

Puff said...

great post momma. i know that had to be hard to write. it was a beautiful ceremony and I loved that I was there to be apart of it. youll be one of those people who will leave a big hole in people's lives when you go, so you're not allowed to! :) love you!