5.11.2008

Moms


It's Mother's Day today. My family took me out to a nice breakfast, (a bit delayed since we almost killed Scully/long story). When my children were young, it was a day that was orchestrated by the 'hub' while the kids went along w/it all and got excited about the whole affair. You know the breakfast in bed w/the 'hub' behind making sure they didn't burn the house down. Homemade cards made w/crayons, Elmer's glue and construction paper. Presents that were often hand made (the best). Now that they are older they're motivated by their own thoughts and the value they place on me, after all, we only have one mom. Someone should take a pole on how many people say "HI MOM", when in the spotlight, either verbally or having it posted on a sign. That would be a pole I would believe, unlike these constant, incorrect, media driven presidential candidacy poles. Geesh!! I miss my mom. Sometimes, the thought of her is so strong it can shut me down. It's part of life isn't it....loosing parents. They grow older and they pass on and we feel like we've crossed over an invisible thresh hold. We know that life is fleeting., it's going faster as the years go by, however, there's something that happens when you loose the one whose responsible for bringing you into this world. Even now, when I find myself in a diff. spot, have questions or am in need of advice my mind goes right to her. She was the best listener ever!! She never gave fluff answers either, they were well thought out and offered w/wisdom. She never gossiped about anyone. If someone, let's say a friend, wanted to talk about a mutual friend in a negative way, my mom would say "can we change the subject I don't feel we should be talking about _______." Now there's a quality that you don't find in most women. You know what else happens? The memories are all composed of the 'good stuff.' Here's another revelation......only someone who has lost their mother understands. I can't tell you how many people who, in their attempt to console me, would often break down as they shared their own loss. I looked into their eyes and listened and found a kinship created by our mutual loss. God in his goodness and grace coupled my loss w/the loss of my best friend Jackie's mom just two weeks later as I was en route to my mother's wake in Washington. I was between flights and His Spirit prompted me to call her. When she answered it was only moments after her mom succumbed to cancer. It only brought us closer. Even today we compare notes on where we are w/the loss. Somehow....I find comfort in our conversations. Sisters....they know firsthand. We don't talk about it as much. I'm not sure if it's the geographical difference or just because it still hurts to much. We all tiptoe around the subject, afraid we will throw each other into a funk that may last to long, or cause to much pain. That's my mom in all three of us. She never wanted to make anyone worry or cause pain. She was so very compassionate when it came to her children. Today I smile as I think of her. I can hear her voice as if she's still down the hall or answering a phone call from me. "HI TAMI." Man.....I miss that voice. Not my normal blog today, but it's my blog......and I find it therapeutic to use it as a tool to speak about my mom...Carol.

3 comments:

daddybum said...

What a great tribute to your Mom! I agree wholeheartedly and miss her very much.
Love Dad

bagman said...

If you want, I can share one of my three Mom's with you. You tak your pick - the one who brought me into this world, the one who raised me, or the one I got when I married Deb.

LJ said...

No...we don't talk about it (Mom's passing) much. Still too close. I loved this one, Sis and the picture...well, tears.