So, I'm reading a new book. It got good reviews and this is the authors first novel. The book is called "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle". It is very good. But that's not why I'm posting, to tell you that I'm reading a new book. Have you ever, when reading, come across a description of a character, how they are feeling @ that moment in the story and you say to yourself "yes, I know how that feels." It could be the loss of a friend, parent. Your first plane ride or when you got your driver's license. Maybe how you felt when you left home for the first time and you realized just how great you had it when you lived w/mom and dad. I think you understand what I mean. Well, I have come across a description in the book and I had to share it w/you. Being the communicative person that I am, it's important that I am understood. I've never been very good @ keeping my feelings to myself. Some would call that bold and to revealing. However, you always know what you're getting when it comes to me, whether you like it or not, I am transparent. So here's what I read "She had learned, in her life, that time lived inside you. You are time, you breathe time. When she'd been young, she'd had an insatiable hunger for more of it, though she hadn't understood why. Now she held inside her a cacophony of times and lately it drowned out the world." My thoughts, of late, have been overwhelmingly about times past. My children.....their own lil' 100 acre woods they found and named after "Winnie the Pooh." Riding down our stairway in a cardboard box and laughing so hard I peed my pants. Cortny singing "Here comes Suzie Snowflake" @ her school Christmas program. The places I have lived, the friends that are still w/me (in my heart even though they aren't present). The friends who are no longer. I understand more of how fast time goes, and believe that w/each year I will be even more enlighten to the speed at which it passes. Even though, God willing, there is still more (much more I hope) time in the future, all I seem to do is think about the past. Tim believes that someday a 'time machine' will exist. He tried to explain it to me once, he lost me at "I think that traveling in time will some day be possible because......". What followed was physics and science mumbo jumbo. I love how he has always thought outside the box. Anyways, I need a push, a plan, a reason to get me out of the past and into the present. I wonder if I'm the only one (surely not) who feels this way when their children are gone out on their own? I cherish them even more now then when they were mine and mine alone. Funny thing is, I believe they feel the same way too! Wouldn't it be great if we were born old and wise and as the years passed we grew younger and more naive, except we wouldn't make some of the mistakes because we had wisdom to draw on. It certainly would be a more predictable world, wouldn't it. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't like it that way......but, the nice thing would be instead of everything shriveling up and drooping down, we would get firm, tight and limber w/age. So our bodies would be in great shape but we would grow more stupid! I had to end this w/some silly thought, this blog is a bit out of the ordinary for me.


LJ said...

Eloquentlty put and every empty nesting mother's reality.

LJ said...

BLOODY tiny STINKIN font and blackberry buttons! It was too late to correct mis-spelling! SHESH!!!!That's ELOQUENTLY

katie said...

miss you mom:( but see you tomorrow!