I am Woman hear me ROAR

I pulled the r.v. today over to empty 'the tanks'. Then, we decided to try a different campsite and moved one "neighborhood" over to where it is more shaded and private. I backed it in. Bill was my 'director.' It took a few tries, as it was a new role for both of us, but we got it done and I must say I like the new neighborhood. As I was backing it in there was a woman across the way and she stopped and stared as I accomplished what she thought, (I'm assuming based on her stares) was impossible and daring. I like trying new things, fear bugs the bejeevies out of me. It sits in the back of my mind gnawing, telling me I'm a coward if I don't try. Most of the time I do just to shut it up and prove to myself that I'm not a 'wimp'. Sometimes, I don't. Like our cruise this summer. We stopped @ St. Thomas where I had secured reservations for all of us to scuba dive. I thought it would be fun, and doable since it was from the shore not out on a boat in the middle of the ocean. I knew I was in trouble when our guide (a hippie who lived in a bus on the beach w/other hippies) asked us to recount the 10 things we needed to remember while under the water. TEN....! Are you kidding me. My menopausal mind struggles with everyday tasks like., put the key in the ignition, turn, put on your seat belt, put it in "D" for drive all while trying to remember why I got in the car in the first place. He asked if any of us had questions. My hand shook as I lifted it up and asked "what do I do when I'm 30 ft. down, (that's six of me) and I want to go up because I'm having a problem (like no oxygen)? Answer., "no problem, just get my attention, point up and then go on ahead." ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! I have to get his attention first. How do I do that if he's out in front w/his back to me? Do I employ a fish to go and let him know that I am turning blue? 'Mother may I' kinda mentality. Am I back in the first grade. Of course, I don't voice what I'm thinking, I just nod. He must of thought I might be trouble because he took our family out for the real deal. For approx. 5 minutes (and I think I'm stretching that) we practiced the 10 things while in shallow water. "O.K., let's go". Everyone slipped under the water except me. I watched the buoy that was attached to the hippie move out into open water. I stood there w/my mask on gasping for air through my oxygen tank, watching, thinking.....HUH UH!!! NO WAY!!!! All at once the 'hippie' diver popped up and asked "are you o.k.?" All I could do was shake my head up and down. "Then come on." I shook it side to side". "Come on, we want you to join us." I mustered up the courage to say "No, you go on." "O.K.," and down he went and the buoy bobbed away. I turned around and started walking, limping, grunting, back to shore. One of the other 'hippies' came and helped me out of the water. The equipment weighed as much as me. I looked at him w/tears in my eyes and said "Please tell me I'm not the only one whose never been able to do this". He smiled and said "You would be surprised how many people turn around and come back." I smiled and said "thank you". I don't know if he meant it, however, I'm eternally grateful for his encouraging words. Kudos to my family for never making fun of me upon their return. However, I felt I had to redeem myself in their eyes (I'm so lame). So, when we got to Bermuda, I swam way out to a rock that only 'guys' were jumping off of, including my son. He was getting ready to jump and saw me there in the water. "Mom?" "Help me up Tim, " (thinking, 'I'm gonna drown if you don't'). He did. I stood on the rock, while all the guys moved out of the way and I felt empowered. I looked back to shore and saw Katie and the 'hub' watching me. I was committed, I had to jump. So.... I did. What a rush!!!! When I got back to the beach I swaggered up to Katie and her friends. They said "Wow, that was awesome". The 'hub' just smiled and shook his head. He knew what he got when he married me. YAAAHaaaa.....take that stupid scuba gear, diving, water, stuff.

1 comment:

LJ said...

Yes sister you certainly are WOMAN (and a bit bull-headed ; ). It doesn't take a scuba dive to prove that.
It's comforting to know there is one other woman out there who has a "Menopausal Mind".