12.09.2008

My Name

O.k., so I'm taking a few aerobic classes until something else comes along. A job, a trip, a ministry. For those of you who have moved, women in particular, one of the hardest parts is feeling like you don't fit in. No one knows you and you stand outside the circle, kinda like window shopping. You peer in the window, sometimes even taking a peek inside, pondering if you like and want to invest in what you see. After an investment you may get it home and decide it's not for you. The 'hub' would attest that I've invested alot in Talbots :) Certain shops/stores that you walk in to may have an air about them. They look you over and give you a stare that says 'you don't belong here'. I remember feeling that way when I strolled into Neiman Marcus. Paleeeeeeeas........a sweater for $500 clams. AYKM!! Sorry, I'm digressing. Well......I can say w/all certainty after many moves I definitely know what I don't like. You might say I'm picky. (No....not you!) To be painfully honestly, at times I'm even a bit afraid to take the step, open the door and browse the wares (peeps). After all, what if they don't like me. There have been people who don't like me, maybe you're even reading this right now. (if you don't then why are you reading my blog, you like me, you know you like me) To you....I'm sorry if I haven't been who you wanted me to be. I am who I am......just like you, on a journey, trying to find the best version of myself, making mistakes but moving along. Everyone wants to be liked, don't they? Don't we all want to be the one in room that everyone thinks is pretty cool and likable? No......hmmm..maybe I'm a bit narcissistic. Whatever ails me, I don't think I'm alone. So......the place you find where peeps know you is the very place you spend the most time. I'm a bit embarrassed to say this, but that place is aerobics. I belong, they know my name, we laugh and joke and sometimes get an invitation to take a walk, go to the movies. That's great an all. I'm glad the process has begun. I'll take it. However, never one to stay happy w/alittle :), the place I want to have that happen is church. My best friends have always come from church, or my next store neighbor, or high-school, but I can't go back to high-school, what a nightmare. Come to think of it, I did happen upon a pretty spectacular B.F.F. while buffeting my body at the gym, my friend Bob-a-kins! It all works out in the end. My wise mother use to say "Tami, if you have only enough good friends that you can count them w/the fingers on one hand, you are blessed." It's the quality, not the quantity. Here's another oldie, but goodie "You have to be a friend to make a friend." Well then "Let Me(it) Be." So, w/that I'm off to take a test on Excel, come home finish laundry and then.....head to aerobics. There are two 'best' parts to aerobics, 1)when you finish 2) when I walk in and someone says 'Hi Tami.'

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